Relationship Problems and Socratic Method 2 Examples How to use it for better relations

Want to solve conflicts and increase the quality of your relationships?

Example 1 of how you could the Socratic Method with relationship problems:

• Identifying the issue or problem to be examined: In this example, let's say the couple is having a disagreement about spending habits and need to find a solution.

• Asking questions to define the issue or clarify the problem: The first step is for each partner to listen to each other's perspective and ask questions to understand the other's point of view. 

For example, one partner might ask, "What specifically do you feel is the issue with our spending habits?" or "Can you give me an example of when you felt frustrated about our spending?"

• Examining underlying assumptions and beliefs: The next step is to examine the underlying assumptions and beliefs each partner has about money and spending. For example, one partner might believe that it's important to save money for the future, while the other believes it's important to enjoy life and spend money on experiences.

Questions to ask:

• What are our assumptions or beliefs about money and spending?
• How do these beliefs impact our spending habits?
• Are there alternative perspectives we can consider?

• Proposing alternatives and considering different perspectives: 

In this step, the couple could propose different solutions or alternatives for their spending habits. For example, they could agree to set a monthly budget for discretionary spending and allocate funds for saving and investing.

Questions to ask:

• What are the potential solutions or alternatives to our spending habits?
• What are the pros and cons of each alternative?
• How does each alternative address the underlying issue or problem?

• Arriving at a conclusion through logical reasoning: 

The final step is to arrive at a conclusion through logical reasoning. The couple evaluates the alternatives, considering the evidence and information available, and makes a decision based on the best available information. For example, they may agree to a monthly budget that allows for both saving and spending on experiences, with the understanding that they will reassess the budget and make changes if necessary.

Questions to ask:

• What is the most logical conclusion based on the information available?
• What evidence supports this conclusion?
• How does this conclusion address the underlying issue or problem?
• Are there any potential risks or drawbacks to this conclusion?

Example 2 - Solving relationship Problems using the Socratic Method:

1. Clarifying concepts: A couple is having a disagreement about their future plans. One partner wants to buy a house and settle down, while the other wants to travel and focus on personal growth.

Questions to ask:

• What does each of you mean by "settling down"?
• What does each of you mean by "personal growth"?

2. Probing assumptions: The couple may have assumptions about each other's priorities, motivations, or goals. For example, one partner may assume that the other doesn't value stability or security, while the other may assume that the other partner doesn't value adventure or self-discovery.

Questions to ask:

• What assumptions do you have about each other's priorities and motivations?
• Are these assumptions accurate, or are there alternative explanations?

3. Probing rationale, reasons, and evidence: The couple needs to understand each other's reasoning behind their desires for the future. For example, one partner may feel that buying a house is important for financial stability, while the other may believe that travel is essential for personal growth.

Questions to ask:

• What are the reasons behind each of your desires for the future?
• What evidence supports your reasoning?

4. Questioning viewpoints and perspectives: The couple needs to consider each other's perspectives and understand how their experiences, beliefs, and values influence their goals. For example, one partner may have grown up in a stable, supportive family and place a high value on security, while the other may have grown up in a more chaotic or unpredictable environment and place a high value on adventure and self-discovery.

Questions to ask:

• How have your experiences and values influenced your goals for the future?
• How do your experiences and values affect your perspective on the issue?

5. Probing implications and consequences: The couple needs to consider the potential consequences of each of their desired outcomes. For example, buying a house may mean financial stability but less freedom to travel, while focusing on personal growth may lead to greater self-discovery but less financial stability.

Questions to ask:

• What are the potential implications and consequences of each desired outcome?
• How do these implications and consequences align with each of your values and priorities?

6. Questioning the question: Finally, the couple needs to question the underlying assumptions and beliefs that are driving the disagreement. For example, they may need to question the assumption that they must choose between stability and adventure or that they must make a decision right away.

Questions to ask:

• What are the underlying assumptions and beliefs driving this disagreement?
• Are there alternative ways of framing the issue that could lead to a more mutually agreeable solution?