Introduction to Questions for Meta-Model NLP Patterns
The NLP Meta-Model questions are designed to uncover distortions, generalizations, and deletions in communication, allowing individuals to gain insight into their internal processes. By employing these questions, practitioners can help clients explore their thinking patterns, challenge limiting beliefs, and foster more effective communication.
Sleight of Mouth Patterns
NLP Meta Model Patterns
Distortions
Distortions occur when we assume to know what someone else is thinking or when we misinterpret relationships between experiences. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflict.
1. Mind Reading
This pattern involves assuming we know what another person is thinking or feeling.
- How do you know what I think about your job performance?
- What evidence do you have for that thought?
- What would happen if I thought differently?
2. Lost Performative
This pattern involves value judgments without indicating who is making the judgment.
- Who decides that being late is unacceptable?
- What makes being late unacceptable?
- How do you know it’s unacceptable?
3. Cause-Effect
This pattern attributes feelings or actions to external causes rather than personal choice.
- How does my behavior specifically cause your anxiety?
- What choices do you have when you feel anxious?
- What would happen if you changed your reaction?
4. Complex Equivalence
This pattern equates two different experiences as if they were the same.
- How does not texting back mean he is angry?
- Have you ever not responded but felt neutral?
- What else could explain his lack of response?
5. Presuppositions
This involves assumptions within a statement that go unchallenged.
- How do you know your friend doesn’t care?
- What are they doing instead?
- What would change your view of their actions?
Generalizations
Generalizations involve making broad statements based on specific experiences, often using terms like "always" or "never." These can create distorted views of reality and hinder effective communication.
6. Universal Quantifiers
This pattern uses absolute terms like "all" or "none" to make sweeping generalizations.
- Is it true that everyone ignores your suggestions?
- Can you recall a time someone considered your input?
- What would happen if someone agreed with your suggestion?
7a. Modal Operators of Necessity
This pattern includes terms indicating necessity such as "must," "should," or "have to."
- What would happen if you didn’t take care of her?
- What prevents you from taking care of her?
- What alternatives do you have?
7b. Modal Operators of Possibility
This pattern uses terms indicating possibility or impossibility, such as "can" or "can't."
- What would happen if you did tell him the truth?
- What specifically prevents you from being honest?
- Are there other ways you could express your thoughts?
Deletions
Deletions occur when important information is omitted from communication, leading to vague statements that lack specificity. Recognizing these deletions can help clarify understanding and improve dialogue.
8. Nominalizations
This pattern refers to making process words into static nouns.
- Who is not communicating with whom?
- How would you define effective communication?
- What could improve the communication process?
9. Unspecified Verbs
This pattern involves vague or unspecified action verbs.
- How specifically did he dismiss your ideas?
- What could you say to clarify your thoughts?
- What did you want from him instead?
10. Simple Deletions
This pattern includes vague statements that lack detail or specificity.
- What specifically is making you feel upset?
- Who or what do you refer to when you say "I"?
- Compared to what situation are you feeling upset?
