The Burden of Perfection. How Can "Should" and "Shouldn't" Statements Fuel Anger?
We often set unrealistic expectations for others by telling ourselves that they "should" or "shouldn't" act in a certain way. These thoughts can easily feed anger and frustration, leaving us feeling disappointed and bitter. This story explores how holding on to such expectations can lead to unnecessary suffering and how we can free ourselves from them.
Other Anger Moral Stories
How Did Mark's "Should" Statements Lead to Anger?
Mark often found himself angry at his colleagues and friends. Whenever someone made a mistake or didn’t meet his expectations, he would think, “They shouldn’t have done that” or “They should have done better.” These constant judgments clouded his thoughts and made him feel as if the world was failing to meet his standards.
What Effect Did These Thoughts Have on Mark?
Mark's fixation on “should” and “shouldn’t” drained his emotional energy. Instead of focusing on the present or finding solutions to problems, he found himself repeatedly replaying past mistakes in his mind. His anger grew, and so did his frustration, as he failed to accept that people are not perfect and that mistakes happen. His relationships began to suffer, and he felt increasingly isolated and miserable.
How Did Mark Realize His Mistake?
One day, Mark confided in an older friend about his growing frustration. The friend listened patiently and then shared a piece of wisdom: “When you expect perfection from others, you set yourself up for misery. People make mistakes, and so do you. Instead of saying ‘they should’ve,’ try to accept people as they are, flaws and all.” Mark began to see that his need for perfection was feeding his anger, rather than allowing him to find peace.
What Change Did Mark Make in His Life?
Mark made a conscious effort to let go of the “should” and “shouldn't” statements. Instead of getting upset when things didn’t go his way, he started focusing on understanding others and adjusting his expectations. When someone made a mistake, he would remind himself that no one is perfect and that mistakes are part of growth. His anger lessened, and he found a greater sense of peace and acceptance in his relationships.
What Is the Moral of the Story?
The moral is that expecting perfection from others only fuels anger and disappointment. By letting go of “should” and “shouldn't” statements, you allow yourself to accept people for who they are and recognize that mistakes are a natural part of life. True peace comes from letting go of unrealistic expectations and embracing imperfections.
