So how do you Evaluate, know and /or Determine if you're ready to start or to Do Something!?
Too often we unconsciously tend to determine if we are ready by comparing ourselves to someone else or to a perfect/desired version of ourselves which we are not!
For instance how do you know if you are prepared for starting a business, relationship, driving a car, speaking a foreign language, etc?
What evaluations criteria or standards do you use? What is your Mindset?
Most people (myself I used to do it in the past) have a tendency to feel good about themselves to start something only if and when they feel like are perfect (or nearby) at the thing they are trying to do or start.
The problem with this approach is that in almost everything you want to do usually there's something else that you could learn and do to be more perfect and so on.
As a consequence of this mindset we tend to feel depressed, sad and too often too discouraged to do anything so we give up before even starting.
An even if we force ourselves (or are coerced by others) to start we tend to feel consumed by inner worries and self criticism which affects our performance in a negative way.
In doing so we tend to validate our initial assumptions that we weren't ready. We do what is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A different problematic approach is to confuse Personal Identity with Skills/Ability. What do I mean by that?
Some people (my family included) used to tell me that I can't do something because I'm not This or That Person!
For instance if I were to try to fix a car issue I was being told that you can't do that because you're not a mechanic.
Keep in mind that there are different types of issues in the car example (applicable for other domains too). Some you can fix yourself or learn how to do it yet for other you may require specialized intervention.
Another way people look at this is by thinking in Either-Or Fixed Categories. Either I'm good at this Or I'm not!
If I'm good at X then I'm going to do it, start it! If I'm not good I won't! The issue with this kind of reasoning is that we don't get born into being good at something or not! We are not born either knowing how to walk or not! We gradually learn how to walk.
An alternative approach i.e Evaluation Criteria / Standard / Mindset that we could use would be to acknowledge to our-self (maybe to others) what is our current level of ability.
Take responsibility for it instead of trying to appear better than you actually are.
We could ask ourselves:
Am I ready and open-minded to learn / discover how to get better while I start and do the thing in question?
Am I ready to make incremental approach with each iteration I take at this? Am I ready to build on , to grow , make progress and evolve?
What if instead of thinking Either-Or I'm good or not I were to rate my skill level on a scale for 0-10?
What would take to increase my skill level from n to n+1?
How would I feel and how would I approach this if instead of comparing myself to others I were to compare with myself? I.e how have I progressed since yesterday, a week, month, year ago?
What if instead of asking myself if I'm good at this(as a criterion for starting / doing smth) I ask myself Am I ready and willing to learn how could I get better at this?
